


Shattered Reflection

by Giulietta



Series: Tainted Holy Grail War [2]
Category: Fate/Zero
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canonical Character Death, Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, Death, Developing Relationship, Duty, Dysfunctional Family, Experimentation, Friendship/Love, Games, Holy Grail, Implied Relationships, Jealousy, Multi, Problems, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-05-01 01:45:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14509770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Giulietta/pseuds/Giulietta
Summary: [Sequel to Seasonal Change]The timeline where the masters have more similar traits to their servants than one ought to have or...Oh right.Kiritsugu isn’t a master of this Holy Grail War (but that doesn't mean he isn't here).





	1. Weariness of time

**Author's Note:**

> A Timeline where:
> 
> Tokiomi is manipulative, aware and **stressed** as hell;  
>  Kariya is a runaway and pretty durable to the point he might actually live through this without losing it;  
> Kayneth tries his hard to be optimistic;  
> Waiver can minutely fight and will do whatever means to survive;  
> Ryuunosuke idolizes the infamous Magus Killer;  
> Kirei- Uh... Not sure;  
> Irisviel is team leader in her group.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Irritated, Tokiomi calls reinforcement.

 

> _"You're really lucky Tokiomi..." Kariya voiced out, staring at a distance as the two grade schoolers sat on the bench waiting for their friend. Tokiomi bites on his bread, asking with a blank expression. "How so?"_
> 
> _"..." Kariya shuffles his feet, looking down. Tokiomi continues eating, waiting for Kariya's response. "Be-because-"_
> 
> _"Sorry for the wait!" Two heads turned to face the approaching female. Kariya sighs in relief at the save while Tokiomi tries to burn a hole at his friend's neck as the raven waved his hand, eyes glowing at his savior. "It's okay Aoi. You didn't take long!"_
> 
> _"Actually-" Tokiomi flinched when Kariya bumped him on the shoulder, changing his statement quickly. "We were just talking about our English project."_

 

‘Curse my luck.’ Tokiomi Tohsaka thought as he stumbled towards a nearby bench. After the latest humiliation act done to him by his servant, the fifth generation head got out of the mansion for a break. No matter how tired he was, the male held up his (or was it his family’s?) pride. Graceful in every way, the male sat on the bench. He breathes, chest heaving from fatigue kept from judging eyes. No one would care if he's here...

 

 

> _“I believe the young heir does not need further training.” The tutor smiled at his father. Tokiomi didn't blink at the praise, feeling sore all over. The tutor finished his sentence with a nod. “As expected from a Tohsaka.”_
> 
> _“And nothing less.” His father agreed with pride. Catching his son’s gaze, the father gives a wry smile. Tokiomi couldn't reciprocate the emotion. “You are dismissed. Tokiomi. Do not forget to attend the lecture at five- Tokiomi?”_
> 
> _Tokiomi didn’t bother answering back, already outside the room to change. The tutor smiles at the frowning father, “Let him be. He’s earned the break.”_
> 
> _"Coast clear" Tokiomi murmured as he looked from left to right, making sure no one was watching him leave. Taking a deep breath, Tokiomi broke into a run towards the park. He promised his two friends he'll be there, after all._

 

“A Tohsaka has to be perfect…” The male murmurs, leaning his head and tilting it upward towards the sky. Mimicking his father’s words before his death, Tokiomi trained harder than his previous predecessors did since he carried the burden/obligation to participate in the 4th Holy Grail War. 'Gilgamesh is probably with Kirei again.'

 

 

> **_"The path to reach Akasha."_ ** _Tokiomi voiced out before staring at Kariya's direction, "is what father said all magi are supposed to aim for."_
> 
> _"I think it's stupid." Kariya voiced out, scanning the titles on the bookshelf section. Tokiomi nods in agreement, curious to his friend’s sudden bout of anger. True. Learning mage craft was a pain, but it can't be that hard. Kariya wasn't dumb. In fact, Kariya was talented in the practical side of reality unlike him who preferred the theoretical side of things._
> 
> _"Explain...” Tokiomi inquired, especially when Kariya wasn't the type who holds grudges. Aoi even mentioned Kariya was 'A saint in the making.' Too bad the Matou clan aren't religious. Wait. Maybe that is a good thing since the mass stirs them closer to inactivity. Kariya whispered, "You don't even know what happens after that."_
> 
> _"...Fair point. Huh? At this rate, we're going to be considered heretics by our own kin with that line of thinking. I'd rather pretend knowing what happens next than that." Tokiomi responded. The two of them were in the library, researching about a western literature piece. Kariya groaned in exasperation at his obedience, not realizing that Tokiomi saw his bruises. Bruises around the arms, Kariya must have some extensive training to obtain those. Tokiomi decided not to ask out of politeness, continuing their research in silence._

 

'I wonder if they're okay.' Tokiomi rests the back of his head on the bench, closing his eyes and feeling the night breeze run through him. He knows it is getting late, but he didn’t want to go back. There was no one to greet him when he does come back. Now that he thought about it, reaching the root of Akasha wasn’t exactly an appealing desire. It took a while for Tokiomi to integrate this statement as his deepest desire since he couldn’t feel the urgency for its fulfilment. No matter what angle he stared at it, the feeling wasn't there. It must be because he was a teenager back then and the fact he found magecraft to be a nuisance. Traditions and limitations, Tokiomi barely had time to meet up with his friends and mold his character. _If he had a child, he would give them free reign!_ Anyways, it was just a matter of time before he confessed the truth to his father - that he didn’t feel the need to understand the ‘truth’ of the universe or to destroy the realm of impossibilities. Miraculously, his father didn't punish him. Instead, the man blamed it in some unknown force and insisted his son give the thought another shot. Tokiomi agreed (and apologized for his rash behavior), but the brunet pushed the idea on the back of his mind when he was taking up college.

 

 

> _"Gah!" Tokiomi yelped, turning his head to the person who removed his helmet. Staring at his childhood friend, the male smiled with a sweat drop. "Aoi. Don't scare me like that."_
> 
> _"My apologies, but it's not every day I get to see you tense before a competition~" Aoi smiled at him. Tokiomi looked at his saber and propped it on his seat, deciding to humor the girl. "A Tohsaka is never nervous. What you see right now is absolute focus surrounded by fatigue."_
> 
> _"Yes… And staring at the fight while fiddling with your sword is going to help you strategize?" Aoi teased as she fixed the locks of his hair. Tokiomi closed his eyes, declaring in a coy voice. "It's called anticipation."_
> 
> _"Don't get caught up then. I don't want to bandage you up like last time~" Aoi covers her mouth, smiling at his antics. Tokiomi stares at her and finds the act very endearing. Tokiomi replies, "I'll compensate your actions later."_

 

Tokiomi was always obedient. He would never voice out against his ancestors. So like all magi, Tokiomi went to London and studied for a year or so with thousand other promising students. He didn't stay long there since he had to finish his profane studies in Japan as a business major with Aoi. Aoi was one of his remaining friends until college since Kariya suddenly dropped out of high school and ran away from his clan. Tokiomi felt a twinge of frustration and regret when he found out Kariya had refused the role as the Matou heir. Regretful as he saw the signs that led to Kariya's retreat and frustration for not knowing the truth to the consented disappearance. Regret turned to disgust - Tokiomi found the act cowardly. Kariya should have taken the mantle. Now, the Matou clan's magical lineage was near extinction with that man on the pedestal. What was Kariya's brother called again? Never mind, he'll eventually remember it again sometime later. Kariya's brother is the current head of the Matou clan. Someone he will need to befriend because the Matou clan is a long-term ally with the Tohsaka. But still, why couldn't it have been Kariya?

 

 

> _“?” Tokiomi couldn’t help but turn around and stare at a peculiar man. Said-man was reading a newspaper in one hand while eating a sandwich on another. Messy hair and blank charcoal eyes, the male walked through him without a care in the world. Tokiomi noticed something fall out of the man’s pocket, a flier for an event._
> 
> _“An Autumn ball…?” Tokiomi stared at it and weighed the pros and cons. If he doesn't go to this destination, he has to stay inside the dorm and listen to his dorm mates. If he does go to this destination, he might get into trouble._
> 
> _"I should probably not go." Tokiomi decided, turning the paper around to see a phone number and certain runes on it. Tokiomi analyzed it, hoping for the writing to be a written spell code but realized it to be a message. Tokiomi has a sweat drop, tilting the page to the right, "Emi… nya?"_
> 
> _The next day, Tokiomi wasn't surprised when there was a report of a massacre around the block. Listening to his colleagues and sympathizing with them, Tokiomi held documents behind his back regarding a certain clan called **Emiya**. More specifically, the single paged document about the last generation named **Kiritsugu Emiya**._

 

"..." The skies were turning dark. Tokiomi can smell the scent of rain. This probably means he should go home now and call Kirei again. Tokiomi smiles to himself. His constant inquiry with Kirei reminded him of his younger years with his relatives. After college, Tokiomi entered some businesses and investments before his clan banned him from interacting with the commoners. (Christ) Thus, he was stuck in the house practicing magic and only getting out to meet with other enthusiastic magi. With his family’s status and skills in life, Tokiomi didn’t need to pursue his family’s dream. He could have lived happily unaware of magic and become a landowner (which was one job he could retain). With the appropriate connections and a handful of successful companies in his fingertips (without needing to know how to use the phone even), Tokiomi could have become one of the most powerful individuals in Japan.

 

> _“You're actually practicing your family's time magic?” Tokiomi inquired, surprising the sniper. Standing on top of the building, Tokiomi walks forward to see down below hundreds of men and women screaming and running away from the plaza. The man placed his sniffle rifle down, staring at the valiant brunet holding a half-filled wine glass._
> 
> _"..." The sniper's aura turned dark at the new presence but didn't say anything. Returning to his scope, the assassin ensures complete annihilation for his targets. Tokiomi doesn’t know why but he finds the man’s silence motivating. Tokiomi continues as if it was a normal day in the park, “Thirteen individuals killed in a split second does sound frightening, but I'm sure Magi are more durable than normal people.”_
> 
> _“Tokiomi.” The raven finally spoke out, sitting up to stare at the man with a look of annoyance. The last time they met was within mafia territory. The assassin was in the middle of his assassination when he noticed the magus accidentally enter the area. Realizing that the organization is magus-related (watching Tokiomi at the time), the magus killer decided to kill everyone involved. Unfortunately, Tokiomi nearly puked at the brutality he saw in the assassin’s genocide. Staring at the magus for a split second, the assassin told him to change his clothes before leaving. Under first impressions, Tokiomi thought the man was a psychopathic asshole out to get him. But after a pastry shop session, Tokiomi found the magus killer a constant companion who spends his money for others ( **literally** ) and eats sweets in his spare time. He was also the same person who pointed out Tokiomi’s ability to attract death. Tokiomi takes a sip. “Glad you remember my name. Renowned magus killer, Emiya Kiritsugu.”_
> 
> _“Bad timing.” The male called Kiritsugu muttered, grabbing the clueless witness by the arm and walking towards the elevator. Tokiomi continues to drink from his wine glass, looking behind to see the assassin’s equipment gone. “How long will you keep fighting? Not like I'm saying it's a bad thing. It's just that you’re all over the news. Your services are a must-have for both Magi and commoners. Just by uttering your name sends shivers to a lowly magus. You should be proud. Many individuals have reformed because of your ignoble acts.”_
> 
> _“What do you want?” Kiritsugu asked, leaning on the metal wall that confines them temporarily. Tokiomi shifts his movement away from the door but farther from the raven, staring at the glowing buttons before answering. “Have you received the Einzberns’ request?”_

 

**He didn’t…**

 

 

> _“I’m still thinking about it. Do you want to join?” Kiritsugu tilts his head, watching sapphire eyes widening in surprise. Surprise turned to embarrassment, Tokiomi responds vehemently. “Of course not! I just heard rumors that the Einzbern will require a bodyguard to protect the Vessel.”_
> 
> _“It wouldn’t surprise me if everyone knew about it…” Kiritsugu looks to the side, placing his hands in his pockets. “The old man’s probably going to hold a coliseum battle to identify the strongest individual. Maybe I'll visit the area when I have time...”_
> 
> _“How’s Hisau Maiya?” Tokiomi inquired unexpectedly. Kiritsugu paused, dragging the man out of the elevator. “Broken, but functioning.”_
> 
> _“I see. Oh well. How about a game of Chess?” Tokiomi offered, bored of the topic already. There was no one in his apartment and he’d enjoy some company. “I made cookies.”_
> 
> _“…” The man must be weighing his options. It’s not like the assassin is poor, Kiritsugu simply prefers home baked pastries than bought products. Kiritsugu relented, itching to grab a stick no doubt. “...Fine.”_

 

For Tokiomi, life paralleled to a game of chess. If the game lacks difficulty, Tokiomi found the game boring. Ergo, his current life is boring. Thus, the brunet wanted a challenge without harming his family's reputation. It was like a tight rope-balancing act. Tokiomi wants to obtain the unobtainable and not get himself killed. The best method to hide his actions was to walk in the shadows. The assassin advised him not to stick out. _It seems the assassin is busy being a philanthropist._ Tokiomi found this contradictory as he stared at the man’s infamy, but he complied. A suggested isolation, Tokiomi started changing his lifestyle. It was difficult, not being part of his country's trends but Tokiomi prevailed in the end. In fact, Tokiomi was starting to like the lifestyle. Staying in the house, doing paperwork, talking with fellow magi - life was nice. He has a handful of friends. One of them being Aoi so it wasn't a surprise for him to hear rumors of their eventual marriage.

 

 

> _"We’re getting married?" Tokiomi repeats his friend’s words as he stared at her incredulously. Aoi stares at him with a melancholic smile “Yes, our meeting was already fated since day one.”_
> 
> _“…” Tokiomi should have seen this coming. Why else did his parents allow him to interact with her? However, does that mean Kariya was also pulled into this act? No. Kariya was head over heels for Aoi and she reciprocated his feelings. It must be a coincidence. Tokiomi scratched the back of his head, 'at least she's someone I know.'_
> 
> _Tokiomi answered back as he caressed his goatee. "I would have prepared for such an occasion if I knew this early on."_
> 
> _"Tokiomi..." Aoi couldn't help but laugh at the man's consideration. "You don't need to handle everything! All we have to do is confirm our relationship to our parents."_

 

"I care for both Kariya and Aoi, but I eventually married Aoi to sustain the magic bloodline. Due time, Aoi learned to love me more than Kariya. Kariya who loves Aoi is a coward." Tokiomi says absent-mindedly. He never got the courage to explain this to Kariya, finding the situation horrible if he were in Kariya's place. If only Aoi had said it instead, but she wasn't the type who breaks hearts. Tokiomi offered the best man position to Kiritsugu, but Kariya came instead… If Tokiomi didn't know any better, he'd say Kariya was possessed by an angry deva. Even though the raven didn't mean it, Tokiomi's swollen cheek speaks for itself. It didn't take long before the Matou clan members came in and Kariya ran out of the Church. After the death of his father and mother, Tokiomi became the de facto head of the Tohsaka clan. His relatives held no power towards him, especially when he arranged all secular and magus' matters beforehand (with the help of a grouchy assassin). No one voiced out against him, especially when he had the crest of his father. The crest, which stored all of the knowledge gathered by his predecessors. Tokiomi found himself free.

 

> _Piles of paper from various agencies stacked against each other. The amount of parchment caused some to fall to the ground. Newly arrived from his Honeymoon, the brown-haired magus stood at the entrance._
> 
> _“…” Tokiomi stared at his desk, clutching his staff._
> 
> _Walking closer, the magus couldn’t help but smile in disbelief. The door slowly opened, revealing the newly wed Aoi Tohsaka. Her smile turned into a frown, realizing the grave situation._
> 
> _“All this…” Tokiomi muttered to himself, picking up a small congratulatory letter. “In a matter of weeks?”_

 

Well not really. Finding out about the Holy Grail and getting hyped over it can really **pass** the time.

 

 

> _“Why aren’t you travelling anymore?” Kariya asked, staring at his friend. Tokiomi had a funny smile on, laughing silly at the raven’s question. “If only you knew.”_
> 
> _“?” Kariya pats the man’s head, grimacing. “I’m sorry for asking.”_
> 
> _“I don’t need your apologies, traitor.” Tokiomi thwacks the hand away, glaring at his collective friend. Kariya placed his hands in his dark blue hoodie. Tokiomi continues, “Maybe if you reclaim your title-”_
> 
> _“Stop. We’re not going through this again.” Kariya closes his eyes in resignation. “Why can’t you let go of the issue and be happy we won’t fight each other in the Holy Grail War?”_

 

“…” Tokiomi felt one no two water droplets land on his face. He should get up soon, but the chaos in the battlefield was nerve wrecking. The plan for a noble Holy Grail war was spiraling out of control. Was the path to finding knowledge this important as to lose innocent lives? No. It was the participants' fault. The Holy Grail war is supposedly a servant-only battlefield while Master battles are optional and collateral damage at a minimal... According to history. Reviewing his actions, Tokiomi hopes his proposed solution will help alleviate the problem. His actions won't possibly break his clan's relationship with the Church because Tokiomi will do whatever it takes to reach the Root of Akasha even if it meant going to a rectangular booth and digging up his past.

 

 

> _“It will be an honor for the Church to guide me in this upcoming Holy Grail war” Tokiomi’s curtesy made the priest smile at the magus’ naivety. Smiling, Tokiomi hopes to gain the favor of the Church as soon as possible. It was just a matter of time before- "for my desire is untainted which is to reach the Root of Akasha."_
> 
> _"Such passion for a self-destructive wish." The priest shook his head, walking away to call another. "Father Risei! May you come over here and explain to this fine gentleman the mechanics of the Holy Grail War?"_
> 
> _‘Technically, the Holy Grail War is about - Death. Murder. Kill.’ Tokiomi thought but remained calm and collective. ‘Hopefully, Father Risei will understand this fine opportunity to view the culmination of the Holy Grail. A relic often viewed to be part of the Church’s belongings; I will need to calculate my next move carefully.’_
> 
> _“?” Tokiomi stares at the wooden door, revealing two priests in a deep conversation. The older one with the white hair must be father Risei, but the brown haired one was too young. No. That man’s aura feels dry, utterly empty. The elder priest responded with a smile towards their direction, “Ah. Tohsaka Tokiomi. What a pleasant surprise!”_
> 
> _“You must be familiar with my father, correct?” Tokiomi was grateful, as opportunity has presented itself to him. Risei smiled and patted Tokiomi’s shoulder in confirmation. Everything was going according to plan. However, Tokiomi couldn’t help but feel insecure with those blank eyes staring at him._

 

'I'm not going to think about it.' Tokiomi decided, moving to the topic of his student. He wondered if Kirei was getting used to his location. That man was insistent on sleeping in that dingy place instead of his family’s splendid home. How particular. Are all priests like that? Never mind the thought, Tokiomi will need as much help as he can to win the Holy Grail. Tokiomi wanted to reach the root of Akasha so badly that he wouldn't mind losing himself in the process. The idea of Akasha was mystifying, utterly beyond the human mind yet theoretically possible to enter with the Holy Grail. Since it was the Tohsaka's duty to hold the next Holy Grail War, Tokiomi gained the advantage against all his foes unless they're from Japan... Travelling around Japan, Tokiomi prepared the ritual site. His actions led several clan heads to praise Tokiomi as a blessing for his clan.

 

 

> _“You gave her away?!” Kariya screamed, making Tokiomi flinch at the man’s outburst. As soon as the raven heard about Matou Zouken’s request, Kariya rushed back to Japan with unknown gifts for his family (Not receiving one himself). Walking straight up the porch, climbing the spiraling stairs and punching him in front of his new student, Kariya was huffing in anger._
> 
> _“Kariya. This is the only way for Sakura to bring out her potential.” At the corner of his eyes, Tokiomi swore he saw Kirei smiling at the display. In his opinion, Risei’s self-proclaimed ‘innocent’ perfect student was a sadist who found everything to be meaningless. Learning each_ _field to complete perfection, Kotomine Kirei was a terrible foe. Tokiomi was glad the priest was on his side or who knows what will happen?_
> 
> _“Do you even know what you’re saying?! Didn’t I tell you Zouken’s a demon incarnate?!” Kariya glared at him, eyes glinting in rage. Tokiomi took one-step back, staring right back at his friend. Kariya hissed venom in each word. “If you don't get her back from the Matou clan, I will do whatever means to **kill you**.”_
> 
> _*Slam!*_
> 
> _“A childhood friend?” Kirei inquired, staring at his exasperate teacher. Tokiomi didn’t respond to the question, picking up a stack of books and dropping it on the coffee table. Kirei stared at the books and back at his teacher. Tokiomi dusted his clothes and walked out without a bat of an eye. “Today’s lesson ends early.”_

 

* * *

 

‘The rain stopped?’ Opening his eyes, Tokiomi notices the umbrella above him. Sapphire eyes wander towards the holder, causing Tokiomi to smile. “It took you two days- Is it just me or did you turn paler?”

 

“Tohsaka Tokiomi.” The man replies, staring down at the wet figure with a frown. “Calling me of all people?”

 

"Listen to my story." Tokiomi stares at empty black. The rain getting harder, the scent of copper and gunpowder irritates his nose but the magus dismisses this. Tokiomi needs this. He needs to rant at someone who doesn't give a fuck but is willing to listen to his woes. Even if the assassin looks like he doesn't care, he cares nevertheless to understand the nature of his mission. Tokiomi opens his mouth, “one of the participants in the Holy Grail war is a serial killer; The vessel to the Holy Grail is also the master of a Saber class servant; The magus prodigy brought his wife as his co-partner; said-prodigy has accidentally caused his student to join as well; My childhood friend wants to kill me; And my student is acting strange. I have problems with my servant who sees me as a pile of dirt on stained glass. I miss my wife's cooking and warmth, my daughter's childish yet innovative antics... Sakura..."

 

…

 

“I understand.” The raven leans down and moves his free hand to wipe the man’s forehead. Tokiomi doesn't bother, being the one who called the hitman to come here. It wasn't his fault the genocidal vigilante was a pleasant company. The pseudo-psychiatrist said, “However, calling me is the last thing you're supposed to do.”

“Nothing is going my way. If worse comes to worst” Tokiomi half-pleaded. His bangs raised, Tokiomi found himself staring at his unamused guest. “You're going to die?”

"And everyone else in this area." Tokiomi watched black eyes turn darker than black. Hands to himself, the man stood straight to look down at the brunet. "Understood."

"Wonderful." Tokiomi sighed, glad the assassin understood the situation. Hook line and sinker, the assassin isn't going to leave until he gets things done. Standing up, Tokiomi remembered the time and changed the topic. "Do you have a place to stay? You can stay in one of the guest rooms."

"Later, I need to check on Maiya." The assassin responded, "she's working under the Einzbern."

"Hmm..." Tokiomi looks around, hoping no one's following them. The raven was the one who reassured him. "There's no servant in the vicinity."

"It's not that..." Tokiomi shook his head slowly, "I was thinking how I'm going to introduce you to my allies."

"Don't." The assassin advised yet the naive father dismisses the idea, "No no no. That is an act of betrayal. (The raven rolls his eyes) Maybe I will introduce you to my student. I'm sure the two of you will get along."

"...How bothersome." The raven voiced his concern, but it sounded nonchalant. “Agenda?”

 

_The skies darken,_

 

“Track down Caster’s master”

 

_The silence deafening_

 

“And kill him without recourse.”

 

_The rain suddenly stopped,_

 

“That’s it for now.” Tokiomi hummed. Reaching his mansion’s gate entrance, Tokiomi pushes it open. The assassin was already gone. Tokiomi laughs to himself, smirking. “Glad to have you in my team… **Emiya Kiritsugu**.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: Dynamic Madness
> 
> [POV Kariya]


	2. Dynamic Madness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kariya thinks about his life and strikes a deal with Waver.

 

> _“Let me see it already Kariya!” The older brother ordered. The raven called Kariya tilt his head in confusion._
> 
> _"U-uh... Ok!" Kariya placed a cover in his jar before going to his brother’s table. His brother was faster than he thought, rushing past him to see his masterpiece._
> 
> _“So what did you make-!” Kariya walks closer to his brother’s table to see - dead maggots. Kariya backs away, covering his mouth with wide eyes._
> 
> _*Crash!*_
> 
> _“?!” Kariya turned to stare at his sibling. The blue-haired child broke his jar, tearing the crimson wings of his younger brother’s hard work. Unmoving, Kariya watched his brother in horror. “B-Byakuya?”_
> 
> _"I...” Byakuya realized his mistake, staring at the remnants. "What have I done?! I-I didn't mean to!"_
> 
> _"It's okay._ _" Looking for a solution, Kariya grabs his brother’s jar and tilts it to fill an empty jar with worms as well._
> 
> _"No! It's not okay! I just ruined you!" Byakuya's panicking for no reason again. "I was just... so angry-"_
> 
> _"It's going to be fine._ _" Giving the jar to his brother, Kariya picks the shards of glass and places it in his pockets. **This way, no one would better**._
> 
> _"See? No harm done. Let's go..." Picking the new jar, Kariya asked his brother to come with him and meet their ‘father.’_

Kariya holds his head, gritting his teeth. Clutching his stomach, the male positioned himself into a fetal position to lessen the pain. He could feel them churning his insides. Each time he used his servant, those things moved. Eating him inside out, Kariya knows he doesn’t have much time to see the end of the Holy Grail War. ‘But what about Sakura?’

 

> _"Again?" The sound of disappointment echoed in Kariya's mind as he presented a deformed insect to the man. Kariya doesn't remember his parents anymore. All he remembers is Zouken. Wrinkly bald and uncanny Matou Zouken isn’t their father, but **he tries to be a good father.** Zouken lets them go to school, teaches them a thing or two about magic, punishes them for their error and watches them from far away._
> 
> _"..." Kariya bows his head, ready for punishment. Byakuya says Zouken is a bad father. Kariya agrees but doesn’t really know why he's bad because Tokiomi says all fathers want the best for their children. Zouken's strict approach was because he wants them to be strong. Zouken told him to hold his hands out in the open._
> 
> _*Smack! Smack! Smack!*_
> 
> _“…” Kariya endures the punishment, wincing as droplets of blood fell. Zouken not only hit his hands but also his arms. Kariya wished he were back in school. He doesn’t want to go home at all. He wants to play with his friends. It was dark and dead here. This wasn’t home. It didn’t feel like home..._
> 
> **_At least they didn't go to the basement..._ **
> 
> _When the punishment finished, Zouken allowed him to leave. Kariya walked out, careful of touching anything. Kariya went to his room and bandaged his injuries. He did promise to go to the park later._

 

“Do it for Sakura…” Kariya muttered, coughing slightly with blood droplets tainting the ground. Lying on the pavement, the albino rested on an alleyway to catch his breath. For the sake of his godchild’s life, Matou Kariya bargained with the devil and participated in the 4th Holy Grail War.

 

> _“…The completion of the Holy Grail?” Kariya blinked, staring at the old man drinking sake. Zouken nodded, strangely silent. Kariya was sitting opposite from his father under the full moon. The moon’s rays lighted the room, making the old man look strangely melancholic._
> 
> _“To end all pain and suffering in the world, this is the ultimate goal of our clan.” Zouken takes a sip from his cup, watching the skies. “Pathetic isn’t it?”_
> 
> _“No...” Kariya responds back, scrutinizing the man. Byakuya is still in school trying to finish a class project, leaving Kariya with the old man. Instead of magic practice, Zouken suggested they relax. Hearing the child's answer, Zouken gives a pained smile. Kariya asked, “Why are you telling me this?”_
> 
> _“I have eyes everywhere. I know when someone's lying to me.” Zouken replied as he stared at the child. The old man wondered how the child could act so calm now that he unveiled their dirty secret._ _The secret now unveiled, Kariya continues to hold his mask of lies. “We aren’t in our primes yet father. Give us more time to develop.”_
> 
> _“You…” Zouken couldn’t help but frown. Kariya stares back, hands shaking but continues facing his fear head-on. There was only one question in his mind as he watched the child retreat into the darkness._
> 
> _'Why?'_

 

Kariya struggles to get back up his feet, knowing he has to return soon. That bastard of a father is probably waiting for him. Mocking him of his failures, Zouken was surprisingly kind enough to stop Sakura’s training for his sake. Sometimes, Kariya wondered how a normal family feels. All he knows is that there shouldn't be any pain involved. Watching the people in the park, families should always be happy and carefree. The Matou clan is the opposite of happy. Everyone was sad there.  Kariya doesn’t even know how he was able to endure living in the household in the first place. Was it because of his friends? His friends who told him that family was important. His friends who never understood the agony of everyday life. No. It was because of one person who showed compassion for him. Aoi. Aoi Zenjou never forgot about him. She always greets him with a smile and talks to him in class. Sharing food and introducing him to new games, Aoi made life more bearable. Tohsaka Tokiomi eventually became his friend since Aoi was also close with the brunet. They got along pretty well until Kariya couldn’t handle the atrocities of his ‘father.’ Kariya ran away. Cutting his ties from the clan, Kariya found himself living in the streets. Working as a freelancer, Kariya was literate enough to become a report writer.

 

> _“Are you lost?” Kariya asked, holding his camera as he stared at the lost teenager. It's not usual for him to see a fellow Japanese in the streets of London and Kariya isn't the type to ignore those in need of his assistance. Walking closer, Kariya realized the teen to be a priest. An exaggerating young age for someone to become a priest, the brunet looks around with blank eyes. Kariya asked again, offering his hand. “Do you need help?”_
> 
> _“I am not lost.” The teenager stated, staring at him point-blank. Kariya placed his hand down, looking at the priest. “Then why are you standing in the middle of the street?”_
> 
> _“…” The priest didn’t respond, unsure how to end the conversation. Opening his mouth, the priest answered him. “I’m looking for someone.”_
> 
> _“Then I will help you! What is their name?” Kariya smiled, but the brunet's eyes narrowed. “Why?”_
> 
> _"Because I want to." Kariya scratches the side of his cheek, slightly bothered why the priest moved away from him. The priest shook his head and refused politely before walking pass him. “No thank you. It is best if you do not get involved.”_

Kariya loves to travel, but he doesn’t have any funds to go to other countries. He often relies on the firm he’s working under for his expenses, and even then he has to get an extra job. Kariya also learned how to use the camera so he could take pictures of beautiful sceneries and make it into a postcard for Aoi. Sometimes if he’s lucky, he gets to see Aoi while working. Tokiomi loves to travel and often leaves their friend to do her own business. Kariya could have met up with Tokiomi, but he has a bad feeling the proud magus would nag him until Kingdom comes. Tokiomi was always the guardian of traditions even if the guy hates following the rules himself. To continue his education, Kariya goes to the library as well as attends seminars and lectures. Aside from the fact, he dropped out of high school and ran away with the help of some kind people; Kariya continues to hide from the Matou clan. Kariya also heard from friends that his older brother's the clan head. Byakuya’s probably drinking his life away. Their relatives aren’t the best role model for children mind you letting them drink after one training session. Kariya inhaled and exhaled, tempering his breathing. One step at a time, Kariya trudged forward.

 

> _“You…” Kariya held his camera, hands shaking. The man in a black trench coat stared at him; hands in his pocket with a chocolate covered stick in his mouth. Kariya took a step back, holding his camera close. “Are you going to laugh at me too?”_
> 
> _“No.” The man responded, still staring at him with blank eyes. “I'm interested. It’s not every day you get to see killer priests in the streets.”_
> 
> _“Eh?” Kariya was in disbelief when the entire bar turned silent. All of the jeering and laughter halted when the man removes his hat. In fact, the atmosphere turned tense when the stranger did this. The man was blunt, asking here and now. “How much do you need?”_
> 
> _"Is he really?" “Bloody Christ!” "Probably a joe." "No way! I saw him in TV!" "Isn't he a bit too young?"_
> 
> _“Uh. Why are they all panicking?” Kariya sweats a little, hoping this man wasn’t a dangerous mafia boss or killer. The stranger realized the rising confusion/commotion and grabbed the younger raven's arm. The stranger dragged him out to the streets, muttering under his breath. “Can't I have a break?”_

 

Kariya holds his left arm, taking deep breaths after each step. Because of the **madness enhancement** spell embedded in his contract, Berserker often goes amok as the servant wreak havoc in various areas of the country to find the Saber servant. Kariya has enough temperance and authority to pacify the servant, but his control wavers when a sudden out-shoot of pain hits him. It’s been so long since he had those vile insects in him, Kariya knows he’ll be in the state of near death if he tries removing it now. The last time involved many vomiting and purification sessions. Kariya was glad his friend had a friend who was a priest. Even if it’s painful, Kariya cried in joy when it was over. Tokiomi will never understand the hardship, the cruelty, the torture done to him by the Matou clan. Kariya hated that man’s ignorance. Why does Tokiomi seek for the unobtainable when he has everything he needed right in front of him?  However, no matter how much he holds onto his grudges, his anger didn’t last long. Hearing the laughter of Aoi through the phone, Kariya couldn’t help but give a possibility of the doubt that Tokiomi is a changed man.

 

> _“Why are we inside Saint Peter’s Basilica?” His friend asked while reading the documents compiled by Kariya. Kariya looks around with a camera in hand. Kariya looks at his grumpy friend. “Aoi said the imagery was nice. Didn’t Tokiomi brag about this place Kiritsugu?’”_
> 
> _“…” The raven called Kiritsugu shook his head, acting more of a father than a friend does. Kariya laughs at the man’s minute state of confusion. Ever since that incident in the bar, the traveler introduced himself as Kiritsugu and asked for his help in investigating several incidents. Any information was accepted. In turn, Kariya would receive an unusually high amount for his deeds. Kiritsugu frowns, staring at the altar. “The mass is starting.”_
> 
> _“Yeah…” Both ravens stared at the small crowd. Standing near the exit, Kariya looked at his patron and then at the confession rooms. “Hey... Are you religious?”_
> 
> _“No.” Kiritsugu confessed as he stared at the crowd. Kariya frowned and was about to go out of the room until he saw a familiar brown head among the priests. Kariya bumped Kiritsugu's shoulder before pointing at the young brunet. “I saw that guy few months ago. Do you know his name?”_
> 
> _“Why would I know him in the first place?” Kiritsugu whispered, resting his elbow on Kariya's shoulder to stare at the brunet as well. After a couple of minutes, the brunet turns his head and notices them. Kiritsugu humored Kariya, staring at the priest's confused expression. "Hmm... That's your next assignment."_

**He was too naive.**

 

> _"Why would you want to know about him anyways?" Kariya asked after the mass ended. Instead of leaving him behind, Kiritsugu stayed beside him in the last row at the back. Kariya doesn't know much about Kiritsugu, but he did not expect the raven to memorize and even sing the songs of the Church. Oh right. Kiritsugu mentioned a loved one taught him those things through song verses. Kiritsugu smiled, recalling how he memorized the gospel to impress the girl. ‘She’s dead now.’ Kiritsugu said during the priest’s sermon, ‘I failed her.’ Another strange habit Kariya learned from Kiritsugu is how the man uses his money. Donating a bundle of cash, Kiritsugu has no sense of investment. His actions didn't make sense. But if it did, Kiritsugu wouldn't employ Kariya's help or visit war-torn areas would he? Kiritsugu bows his head, looking at the marble tiles. "Gut feeling."_
> 
> _"..." Kariya frowned, but his attention shifted to the crowd going closer to the altar to greet the priests. Kariya stood up, following the masses while Kiritsugu stayed behind. Hopefully, he'll get a closer look at the brunet._
> 
> _“Act natural” Kiritsugu called out after Kariya was a block away from him. Kariya turned to Kiritsugu's direction and shook his head. If Kariya didn’t know any better, he’d say Kiritsugu was pairing him with his potential friend. Kariya just wants to make sure the man found his person. As he approached, the priest dubbed Kotomine Kirei seems to recall him because he gave the straightest expression the reporter has ever seen. But this did not deter Kariya from his goal of getting the information he needed (whatever he can get actually). Kariya asked with a smile, "Nice to see you again!"_
> 
> _"He seems to know you Kirei. Did you make a friend?" A blonde priest on the left asked his colleague. The priest called Kirei did not share the sentiments, staring at Kariya as if he was a wall. Kirei shook his head, replying with utmost conviction. "No. He is a mere acquaintance along the streets."_
> 
> _'Ouch. That stings.' Kariya felt ice forming on his shoulders with that cold stare. Several priests laughed at the expression, sharing inside jokes between each other. Kirei stood firm to not talking to him, deadpanning him as if he was a nobody._
> 
> _Fortunately, Kiritsugu came to the rescue and slipped him away from the crowd. The things Kariya learned from Kirei was that he’s respected among his peers and his father is really 'fit' with that abs trying to break free from those clothes. Kiritsugu says this is helpful, but Kariya doesn't see any benefit from this. Kariya also doesn't understand how Kirei's mood shifted when Kiritsugu came to the picture. Kiritsugu didn't do anything amazing. Kiritsugu went behind Kariya, gripped his shoulder lightly, stared at all of the priests in the eye and bluntly said they were leaving. For that temporary moment, Kariya watched Kirei’s head turn and focus his attention to his patron. It left a sweet yet bitter after taste in his mouth when he realized how charismatic Kiritsugu can be. Envious yet in awe, Kariya doesn't understand how he feels with Kiritsugu. Kariya can't help but equate the raven as an older brother. A role model who helps those in need, Kiritsugu is definitely a better older brother figure than Byakuya._
> 
> _"So... Is he your type?" Kiritsugu asked in a husky tone. Kariya's hand twitched. However, there are times when the guy acts like a **mischievous brat** like right now. Kariya smacked Kiritsugu's head, annoyed. "Very funny."_

Ever the optimist, Kariya’s wish was his loved ones to be happy. He missed his life before the Holy Grail. Even if he doesn’t have a good apartment, eat street food for his three meals and can visit Aoi and the kids in certain intervals within a day, as long as his pseudo-family was okay, Kariya doesn’t mind living in the shadows. But now, Kariya hates how one decision from that goatee bastard flipped his world three-sixty. Not only is he angry at Tokiomi for risking his life for a petty grail, causing Rin and Aoi to pray for the man’s safety, but that bastard had to give Sakura away to the likes of Zouken. All because of Tokiomi, Sakura. Sakura... Kariya doesn’t even know how to start. Sakura’s life had become a living nightmare. If he doesn’t do anything, Sakura will become a doll without any aspirations in life. Kariya can’t let that happen. He has no choice, but to win the Holy Grail no matter what.

 

> _“You okay?” Aoi asked, wearing a kimono as she looked down at her friend. Kariya was hugging his knees as he sat on the grass as he looked at the night sky. Kariya turned to look up at the woman and smiled, “Of course I am.”_
> 
> _“Liar.” Aoi playfully knocked on the top of the raven’s head, shaking her head with a small smile. “You know I consented to this right?”_
> 
> _“Yeah” Kariya absent-mindedly said and decided to stare back at the sky, “I’m overwhelmed that’s all.”_
> 
> _“That you punched Tokiomi? Not like your action’s unjustified” Aoi covered her mouth slightly chuckling. “but I appreciate your concern. Thank you for coming, Kariya. You may not know it, but your presence means a lot to me. If you excuse me, I have to tend to said-magus before he speculates I got kidnapped.”_
> 
> _“Heh. You’re right. Congratulations Aoi.” Kariya bids farewell with a smile. When the woman left, Kariya’s smile turned upside down. Lying about his happiness was harder than he thought. How could he be happy when he was alerted of this news through a third party?! Tokiomi doesn’t even have the guts to ask him. No. That magus was willing to have a complete stranger into the wedding. Kariya felt a poke on his shoulder, smelling the scent of fried squid behind him._
> 
> **_“Takoyaki?”_ **

 

“…” Kariya sat on the bench, panting for breath. Kariya wished he was prepared for this sort of torture, but how can one be prepared to have their insides eaten by worms? Because Kariya ran away in an early age, he didn’t learn a lot of spells from his clan. Kariya rather die than remain in that house though. Kariya was even tempted never to come back to Japan, sending postcards and/or gifts for his childhood sweetheart when he had time. That is until Kiritsugu mentioned about the wedding through the phone. Fortunate how Kiritsugu was stuck in Germany to teach a mysterious woman. Kariya was in South Korea when these conversations occured, especially when Kariya needed funds to keep on moving. Kariya still doesn't know what sort of occupation Kiritsugu has for a living, but it's probably illegal. Look at it this way, how can Kiritsugu support his travels while the guy's teaching a woman for a lofty fee? Kiritsugu even bought a customized Mercedes-Benz 300SL as a farewell gift. Kiritsugu says it's his saved money from the lack of friends, but that makes the excuse more absurd! He and Kiritsugu are in the same boat. They didn't finish their education, they dislike the topic about their family, they see magic as something bad, they're freelancers and they love to travel. The sole reason Kiritsugu presented his teaching service was to learn more about the recent activities of the magus realm, not because of that infamous Magus killer who used the name Kiritsugu. The same guy who also got his picture taken and circulated around the world, solidifying his position as the **True Magus Killer**. This gets weirder when five other ravens hail themselves as the real Magus Killer after a few months of the man's death. Why did Kiritsugu care about the events in the Magus Association? Kariya doesn't care...

 

> _“Ha ha… How is this helpful?!” Kariya was on the floor with one knee propped up. Kiritsugu stared at him as he held a paint gun. Kiritsugu twirls his gun and responded with an isn’t-it-obvious tone. “Training your reflex until you give up and we head over to the magic circuits?”_
> 
> _“I am not going to resort to violence!” Kariya wailed, feeling the claws of fatigue grab hold of his nerves. Because Kariya decided to stay in Japan, Kiritsugu periodically comes over his apartment and surprises him with new training regimens for the incoming WAR Kariya accidentally talked about._
> 
> _"You're right." Kiritsugu pockets the gun and lights a cigar, irking the younger some more. “I’ll need to teach you physical and magical training as well. However, it would be easier if it’s aligned to your specialties. How about insect familiars or mind control?”_
> 
> _“I hate you. You know that right?!” Kariya stood up and thrusted his wooden sword to the man's chest. Kiritsugu dodged it with his eyes closed while pondering on Kariya’s semi-training. Even though both agreed magecraft almost always leads to the path of destruction, Kiritsugu continued where his father last took off: Time manipulation. Kariya believes someone influenced Kiritsugu to do it. Kiritsugu smirked, “I hear you, but it’s for your own good.”_
> 
> _“You are a sadist!” Kariya continues to strike the man with his weapon, but Kiritsugu used his paint gun as a shield. Kiritsugu didn’t even wince when Kariya was able to slap the guy’s right thigh. Instead, the guy took a step forward and used his left leg to kick the man backward. “Am not. You’re just inexperienced.”_

 

Well not really.

 

> _Both of them are lying on the ground with Kariya staring at the ceiling. Kariya requested while a bit dazed from their latest exercise to his ‘mentor.’ “Next time, can you not use the Reality Marble when we’re inside my apartment?”_
> 
> _“…” Kiritsugu doesn’t respond, already unconscious from the strain and energy requirement for such a feat. This is why Kiritsugu doesn’t like using magic in his missions. It’s because Kiritsugu doesn’t have proper training on Magecraft. Kiritsugu mastered innately controlling time within his body, but not the external application. [This is the same reason why Kiritsugu pushed Kariya to attend those baby magic lessons in London. Urgh!]_
> 
> _*krrriinng~!_
> 
> _“The pizza...” Kariya remembered, sitting up only to fall down again. He feels like vomiting, but last time ended up having a bloody sink and a visit to the hospital. This is why amateurs shouldn’t create a Reality marble. At least he doesn’t feel the pain anymore. Kariya crawls to the wall and leans on it. “At least I learned a thing or two about healing…”_

“Nothing can prepare me for this.” Kariya sighs, standing up and walking forward once more. It never crossed his mind that he'd enter the war because of that goatee bastard. He can sense his servant calming down, watching him in the shadows. At least, Kariya knows deep down that Berserker is a nice guy with a similar disposition as him. Kariya isn’t dumb. He knows who his servant is because of his dreams. Even with the murky darkness and hellish screams of agony, he deciphered the gist of Berserker’s story. The environment, the people, the outfits and events, Kariya was able to pinpoint the location and search for the familiar. It took a huge amount of research and the usage of the nearby computer shop, but Kariya found it. Memories of betrayal and regret, Berserker’s identity is the **Knight of the Sacred Lake**. Part of the Round Table, Lancelot is supposed to be a Saber class but Zouken found a way to tamper his own master-servant system. Because of his desperation, Kariya allowed Lancelot to be tainted with some dark energy. When he told all of this to Sakura, the child simply patted his head.

 

_"It couldn't be helped."_

 

Was the words Sakura uttered. Her forgiveness only made the feeling worse. Those blue eyes looking up at him for hope was worse than the snarling darkness caused by the corrupted contract. To destroy that hope was a sin by itself. Kariya needs to save Sakura. He wants to see Sakura smile and play with her sister Rin and mother Aoi. He wants to give her a normal life before it's too late. Just for her sake, Kariya will do anything to obtain victory-

 

* * *

 

"A-are you okay?" A teen asked with short black hair. Kariya turned to the teen with his good eye and narrowed his vision. Is it a friend or foe? Kariya lowered one hand into his pocket, holding the handle of a makeshift knife.

"I'm ok." Kariya loosens his grip when he saw the teen under the lamp light. Judging from the clothes, this person's a student in the clock tower. How does he know this sort of information? A certain philanthropist ordered him to research about the Magus Association, the life of a stereotypical magus and the number of clans with distinct ability. Kariya walks closer, trying his best not to look limp. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be sleeping?"

 

"I know you're a master."

 

"!" Kariya gritted his teeth, keeping his mind still. He knows his servant is more attuned to his instincts than his words. Kariya does not want to promote the incessant violence. Memories stirring, Kariya recognizes the face and the name announced by Lancer's master. Kariya responds. "You are the master of Rider, Waver Velvet."

"Matou Kariya, Berserker's master." The teen called Waver takes a step back when he said this. Waver's actions is to be expected since everyone knows how destructive Lancelot tends to be. Kariya has a bad feeling this is the way he's going to die: Death by sudden prana outburst. It's going to be a messy death no doubt unless the afflicted area is somewhere in the brain or the heart. Waver coughs, getting his attention.

 

"If you've noticed... A lot of the masters are starting to pair up in search of Caster and his master..." The student doesn't seem so confident with his plan, but both men knew what had to be done. Waver looked at Kariya and requested. "T-that's why I want to propose an alliance with you to ending the murders!"

"...?" Kariya blinked and smiled. An alliance sounds nice. To have someone defend your back and discuss about possible battle plans felt reassuring but.. Kariya looked down, crestfallen.

"I don't think it's wise." Kariya confessed. Not properly trained, Kariya isn't confident about his abilities as a 'magus.' He isn't even sure if he can contain Lancelot not to fight against the Rider servant nor can he be sure if he can make the right decisions that can benefit both parties. Kariya has to be selfish in this war. He has to save Sakura. However, Kariya isn't selfish enough to deceive his allies. "I don't have proper training and my servant is... You get the idea."

"But!" Waver bit his lower lip, trying to find a persuasive line of thought. Kariya applauds him for this. It's not every day Kariya sees a person go out his way to enter a war without proper preparation. Kariya? Kariya couldn't even remember the plans he's formulated after he entered and resided in the **basement** for a year or so.

 

"We.. We have to."

 

"..." Kariya hates that phrase. "Have to" means no choice, no other way but one. Good or bad, they have to go through it. There was no other way. Kariya hated it. He hated feeling helpless within an unjust system. That's why he turned his back from it, only to have this freaking Holy Grail War drag him back to the deepest parts of the Purgatory.

"Even if we know Archer killed him in the first days of the War, Assassin is alive. Rider and I saw them spy on us in the sewers while we're looking for clues. If we follow the rules, Assassin's master is sheltered in the Church." Waver explained, watching Kariya put his hoodie on. "That means Assassin and Archer's masters have been working together since day one. No. It could even be before that!"

"...Why me? Why not your teacher?" Kariya doesn't understand. How could Waver go to him for help? A complete stranger with a rogue servant that could turn everything to a corrupted weapon.

"He... Professor Kayneth vowed to kill me and... Rider's invitation was rejected by Saber." Waver turned silent, looking down. Kariya watches him, reminded of this generation's mind set. Idealistic and naive - Waver is starting to learn the cruelty of the real world, forced to mature and survive in the battlefield. Waver furrowed his eyebrows and asked once more. "Please! Let's make an alliance!"

"...Fine" Kariya saw black eyes glimmer with hope. He continued. "But I can only make a truce."

"Eh?" Waver blinks, confused. Kariya sighs, explaining. "Look. My family's crest is damaging my neuron system in the brain. I'm starting to forget things and divulge in my bouts of anger without any reason. The best I can do is keep a leash on Lancelot so he won't harm you and your servant. I'm also being monitored so we can only meet in secret-"

 

*Thud!*

 

"H-hey. A-are you crying?" Kariya panicked, walking towards the raven. Waver knelt down, covering his face with his arm. The student was shaking. Kariya knelt in one knee and patted the student's back. "Come on now. Don't cry. We can talk this over."

"This is the first time it worked." Waver confessed, weeping from all the days' worth of sheer randomness and near-death situation. It's been so long since he cried. These tears are not of sadness but of fear and relief. Ever since he entered the War, Waver could only rely on civilians he brainwashed for a home to stay and his servant who goes around disobeying his orders. The chaos suddenly takes a pause with that one word of acceptance. Those same words caused the dam to break. Waver cried while laughing at himself. "It's funny. The longer I stay here, the more I don't know what to do in the war. At least now, Rider won't be the only one who'd put up with pathetic me."

"Don't say that! You're tons better than me." Kariya argued but Waver laughed it off.

"Better? How can I be better than you? Family, wealth and heritage, I have nothing but my skills to comfort me. Bloody hell! Didn't you hear what **He** said? My skills are that of a **mediocre magus** , a flower bud cut before it could bloom." Waver covers his face, his smile too painful to look at. "This war terrifies me, but I don't want to run away. Rider. He's... He's one big idiot but... He's an idiot I don't want to disappoint. Rider... He's the first person to ever recognize my skills. I... I want to live through this. I want the world to recognize me but..."

 

"You don't want Rider to disappear." Kariya pulled out the cat out of the bag. He's done his research in the Matou clan archives. The servants have to be sacrificed for the Grail to emerge. Their deaths will amount to the massive pool of mana for the victor's desire. Kariya doesn't know where the Grail is at the moment, but he's sure the Einzbern has the process of producing it. Waver turned silent, wiping his tears using his sleeve.

"I can't believe I got attached with that moron." Waver just sat on the ground, tired from everything. Kariya sat down with him, pulling out a bottle of water to drink. "He was supposed to be a tool and nothing else."

"It's okay. It's no one's fault." Kariya looks up at the night sky, smelling the scent of rain. 'It might rain soon.'

"Sorry for that." Waver sulked, covering his face with his bangs. "Ha.. How am I going to explain this to Rider?"

"Tell him you went to the cinema and saw something very sad. That works." Kariya does a shooing movement with his right hand, smiling helplessly. Waver gives an airy laugh, not really putting effort in the smiling department anymore. The two were so done with all this. Too bad they have to keep going.

 

* * *

 

"Thank you for the information." As soon as Waver stood up, he bowed ninety degrees to the hooded person. Kariya smiles back, "I should be the one thanking you. The doctor said I needed a humane conversation once a day."

"Ha ha ha..." Waver laughed slowly, laughing for the effort Kariya gave to lighten the mood. Kariya bows his head, depressed. "Well. This means goodbye."

"Y-yeah." Waver looks at Kariya with a confused expression. Kariya waves his hand, moving away from the post he was leaning on. "See you."

"Good night." Waver waved goodbye, making sure the figure disappeared from his sight. Looking around, Waver proceeds back to his house. Taking different turns and using some illusion magic, the magus made sure to conceal his presence to the best of his ability.

 

_Rain started to pour._

 

“Where did you run off to?” The Conqueror asked, lying on his side as he held to remote with a bag of chips.

 

_Having the people close their doors_

 

"Unlike you, I gathered information about our enemies." Closing the door, Waver rolled his eyes yet he couldn't help feel warm with the wide grin of his servant.

 

_Before the rain cleansed everything away._

 

"So any news about the others?" Rider referred others as 'his fellow servant comrades.' Waver sits on his bed, proceeding to lie down from exhaustion. Raising his hand, Waver enumerated with closed eyes. "One. I entered a armistice with Berserker's master. The same master who gave me background information on the other participants."

"And the servant's response?" Rider frowned, sitting up and crawling towards the young master. Waver was so tired, he doesn't bother with the proximity of his servant hovering above him. "Nothing. He's corrupted with madness. Moving on"

"Saber's master is going to be targeted either by Lancer or Assassin since the group holds the holy Grail's vessel. Assassin since his master is part of the Church seeking to protect the Grail from sinful people and Lancer because the servant agreed on a rematch sometime later. I won't put it pass **him** to grab the opportunity to secure the Vessel and increase the chance of having **his** wish granted." Waver muttered, breathing out from his mouth as he did so. Rider rested the side of his face on the palm of his hand, gazing at the teen with interest. "It's unwise to intervene between agreements. Assassin? Ignore them. They're no major players in the war."

"Not so fast, we have bigger problems at hand with the third info. We need to decrease the amount of corrupted energy in the water before someone, most likely Caster, takes advantage of it."

"Boy... I can't help you on that one." Rider stared at black eyes opening. It's strangely fascinating how the teen would flush beat red with that stunned expression all because their distance. Waver reaches for his pillow and pushed it on the oaf's face, fussing words of insult and annoyance. Rider chuckled, moving away to avoid the pillow assaults. "Enthusiastic, are we?! ("No! I am not!" Waver is still flustered for some reason.) But let me ask you something regarding the third. Is it possible to avert the scenario?"

"Only if we kill Caster. If the servant's still alive, I don't have the proper material nor knowledge fast enough to remedy the problem. Summoning a creature from another plane will be possible given the set up- _Too close_!" Waver holds his pillow close, squinting at the servant. Is it just him or is Rider breaking his personal bubble more than the usual times? ' _Not that he minds-_ ' Waver covers his face in embarrassment.

"We'll have no choice but to cooperate with the other servants- Wow. You okay there?" Rider raised an eyebrow. Waver shook his head while still covered with a pillow.

"I'm not okay and you are not helping me!"

"What did I do?" Rider finds this situation amusing. It's as if Waver- Rider's eyes widened, shocked at his revelation and the data gotten via their bond as Master and Servant. "You are attracted to me."

"I am not!"

"You are!" Rider stood up, proud at his findings. Waver continues to hide his face as the red head confirmed his suspicion, "You should have told me sooner. I could have prepared in advance for this type of occasion-"

 

**"Just go to sleep!"**

 

Waver wished life was easier for him.

 

* * *

 

"..." Sakura placed a blanket over her uncle, looking at him with blank eyes. The servant at the door didn't move an inch as the albino came into his room and collapsed onto the ground. It was Byakuya who noticed and took pity on the man, carrying the guy to the bed (while the older brother cursed under his breath).

"Gurgh." Lancelot tries to speak, but nothing intelligible came out. Sakura could sympathize with the servant, unsure how to express her concern for the Uncle. Deciding to kiss the man's forehead, Sakura whispered with closed eyes and a small bud of hope in her chest that everything will turn out all right.

**"Good luck Uncle Kariya."**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: Empty possibilities
> 
> [POV Kirei]

**Author's Note:**

> Unfortunately, people will still die here. :T


End file.
